OnStar Facebook

OnStar announced today that they will/may offer Facebook link via voice-to-text.

I suppose it should offer an alternative to texting while driving, but I seriously doubt that the texting audience will switch.  I wonder what the updates will look like now:

John Doe turned left

John Doe ran the red light

John Doe via OnStar: “Oh shit…”

John Doe likes Concrete Retaining Wall

Descriptive comments

When you write code, you need to comment it so that when you or somebody else comes back to this code few years/months/days/hours from now, they will be able to figure out what the code does. Here is the comment I saw one of my interns write:

// This function divides Numerator by Denominator

Really? I thought numerators and denominators are usually multiplied!

The price of being polite.

Few weeks ago I stopped by a Barnes & Noble store to see what I can use my gift cards on. I stop at the Nook counter (which in most stores you bump into as soon as you open the door) to look at one of the functioning units (they finally replaced the pieces of paper they used to have before). I have been thinking of buying an electronic reader for a while, and Nook is the leading candidate.
As I stand there getting ready to interrogate a sales associate, some older guy comes up behind me. I figure I better let the guy go first, given that I am planning to go over all features of the Nook. The first thing the guy asks is whether or not they have Nooks in stock. Sales associate answers that they will not have them in stock until February 1st, which is what I have heard many times. “However”, continues the associate, “we have one unit at the registers because somebody ordered two units but kept only one”. As my jaw is dropping to the floor, the older guy walks over to the registers and buys the unit.

No, they did not have any more of “returned” units.

Yes, next time I will NOT let the guy ahead of me.

And also, next time I’ll have to break the guys legs so he cannot make it to the register.

PS: For those w/o sense of humor – my statement of intent of breaking the guy’s legs and not letting somebody ahead of me is a joke.

Running a file

Double-click an executable file…
“You seem to want to run this  program – are you sure?”
“Like, totally, really sure?”
“Are you sure you dont want to delete it instead?”
“No, just run it, please”
“You know that this little programmy thingy can hurt you, right? You wouldn’t want to have a boo-boo”
“Yes, i know, I am also sure it will not, i’ve ran it many times”
“But you never know. There are many things out there in the big and scary Internet, why don’t you stick around with the small and cosy world of our company?”
“Ok, how about this – i’ve been doing this stuff for NN years, i know what i want, just run the program?”
“Would you like this little cute puppy on your screen?”
“No. just run the damn program!”
“Hey, no need to be defensive i just want to let you know that our company also has this great suite of flashy software that does all the same stuff this program and does also offers counseling and hand-holding. Want to try this one instead?”
“No. Could you please, start the program?”
“Look at that puppy, look at him! Isn’t he adorable? I used to have another cute pet – it was a paper clip. It loved to ask questions and offer help… Some people didn’t get it though, I guess. He was sent to recycling… Life is a funny thing, you know… I remember this one time I was updating myself and … “
“Ok, how about this – we are just going to just forget that I ever double-clicked anything, ok?”
“Ok, just for you and just today. By the way, there is this offer for this security software our company produces – it will make sure that you will not start any bad software on your computer”
“Oh… thanks. Awesome. Really… Yeah”
“And, btw, i already started that program you double-clicked 20 minutes ago”
“Yeah. It was asking a lot of questions, so i just said Yes, so that it wouldn’t distract you from our conversation. I also changed the default e-mail client back to our flashy client. It came in the bundle, so if you are using the other programs from that bundle, I know you really want to use that one instead of your old one, right?”
“Ok. just whatever. Nice talking to you”
“Yeah! Any time! Hey, could you do me a favor – restart me please? See, you moved your mouse, you need to restart your computer for changes to take effect”


Free Examine by Minimal Wage Proctologist (courtesy TSA)

From Bruce Schneier: “last month someone tried to assassinate a Saudi prince by exploding a bomb stuffed in his rectum”

For sake of our dignity (or whatever there is left of it, anyways) we CANNOT let anybody from TSA find out about it. And God forbid, they watched Man on Fire Can’t you see what will happen? There was a shoe-bomber, and now we have to remove our shoes. Now, there is a precedent of ass-bomber, and we may end up having a mandatory cavity search… by a bomb squad… consisting of TSA personnel !

I wonder if anybody will try to blow up something using explosives hidden in a bra. After that TSA will ban bras from planes and women will have to remove them before proceeding past the security checkpoint. I’ll just be hanging out by the checkpoints. Look at the bright side though – men now have absolute right (if not an obligation) to look at girl’s rack while talking to them – “Hey, those don’t look real, i think i’m going to keep an eye on them to make sure she’s not a terrorist”.