On Asset Managers and Dog-Walkers

An asset manager calls me, “we are in the process of generating Q1 invoice. Could you send us our trade data for the period so we can check the data”
Hm, let’s see if we can find an analogy in an everyday world in order to understand the behavior of this fascinating creature.
Let’s say, you found yourself with a very busy schedule with no time to walk your dog. So you hired a dog-walker, and the agreement was that the dog-walker will walk your dog at least once a day and would charge you X amount of money per walk payable at the end of the month.

Now, it’s the end of the month, and the dog-walker asks you to send him information on how many times he walked the dog, so that he can send you an invoice…

Mind you, the dog-walker is not some discount dog-walker, walking the dog for next to nothing, no no, he charges you the market price. In the meantime the neighbors are complaining about dog walker showing up at some ungodly hours, and you have noticed that “walking” generally involves letting your dog run free on the street, where your precious little canine can be easily hit by a car or stolen.

OnStar Facebook

OnStar announced today that they will/may offer Facebook link via voice-to-text.

I suppose it should offer an alternative to texting while driving, but I seriously doubt that the texting audience will switch.  I wonder what the updates will look like now:

John Doe turned left

John Doe ran the red light

John Doe via OnStar: “Oh shit…”

John Doe likes Concrete Retaining Wall

Free Examine by Minimal Wage Proctologist (courtesy TSA)

From Bruce Schneier: “last month someone tried to assassinate a Saudi prince by exploding a bomb stuffed in his rectum”

For sake of our dignity (or whatever there is left of it, anyways) we CANNOT let anybody from TSA find out about it. And God forbid, they watched Man on Fire Can’t you see what will happen? There was a shoe-bomber, and now we have to remove our shoes. Now, there is a precedent of ass-bomber, and we may end up having a mandatory cavity search… by a bomb squad… consisting of TSA personnel !

I wonder if anybody will try to blow up something using explosives hidden in a bra. After that TSA will ban bras from planes and women will have to remove them before proceeding past the security checkpoint. I’ll just be hanging out by the checkpoints. Look at the bright side though – men now have absolute right (if not an obligation) to look at girl’s rack while talking to them – “Hey, those don’t look real, i think i’m going to keep an eye on them to make sure she’s not a terrorist”.